Wanted Read online

  Wanted

  By ML Ross

  Wanted

  Copyright © 2014 by ML Ross

  All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce or distribute this book, or portions thereof, in any form without written permission.

  Published by ML Ross

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, or events, is coincidental.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1 - Vanessa

  Chapter 2 - Vanessa

  Chapter 3 - Ryan

  Chapter 4 - Vanessa

  Chapter 5 -Ryan

  Chapter 6 - Vanessa

  Chapter 7 - Ryan

  Chapter 8 - Vanessa

  Chapter 9 - Vanessa

  Chapter 10 - Ryan

  Chapter 11 - Vanessa

  Chapter 12 - Vanessa

  Chapter 13 - Ryan

  Chapter 14 - Vanessa

  Chapter 15 - Ryan

  Chapter 16 - Vanessa

  Chapter 17 - Vanessa

  Chapter 18 – Vanessa

  Chapter 19 - Ryan

  Chapter 20 - Vanessa

  Chapter 21 - Vanessa

  Chapter 22 - Vanessa

  Chapter 23 - Vanessa

  Chapter 24 - Ryan

  Chapter 25 – December 25th

  Chapter 1 - Vanessa

  “Did you go yet?” James grunts as he pumps into me one more time. Then I immediately feel him soften.

  “It’s okay.” I sigh.

  “Cool.” He says as he leaps off of me and walks into the bathroom. I pull the sheet over my naked body and lay there for a moment staring at my boring white ceiling wondering if this is it. Maybe there’s something wrong with me. I don’t think I’ve ever had an orgasm that wasn’t brought on by my electronic boyfriend, the purple one with all those attachments that reach into those forbidden places and vibrates at just the right speed. Maybe that’s my problem. No dick can do what B.O.B. does for me. I’m ruined.

  James hops back up on the bed fully dressed making my lifeless body bounce. He lies next to me with his arms behind his head. I take a moment to study James while he’s staring at my ceiling. James is hot. He’s got a rocking body. He takes his work outs seriously. His dark hair is short and clean cut. He has pretty blue eyes. Still, I look at him and I don’t feel that undeniable attraction I read about in my romance novels. “So what are your plans today? Want to do a movie and dinner later?” He asks turning towards me.

  “My Mom’s appointment is today. Remember? It’s the big one.”

  “Oh yeah, right. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow for your big birthday celebration then, huh?” He says pulling out his iPhone.

  “Yeah, what time do you want me to come over?”

  “How about 6pm, I’m going to have dinner for you.”

  “Sounds great.” I try to say with enthusiasm as he’s still enthralled with his phone.

  “Okay, I’m off.” He pecks me on the cheek and is out the door.

  I roll over and close my eyes. He knows today is a big deal for me and my family. My Mom finds out today if the cancer is gone. I don’t know why I keep denying the fact that, yes, James is a very selfish person.

  We leave in an hour for her appointment. I take a quick shower and as I’m standing in front of the mirror, I take a good look at myself. My hair is very long and naturally blonde. A little more of a dirty blonde. If I let it air dry, it’s slightly wavy. I haven’t changed my hairstyle in over two years. I have big green eyes. To me, they remind me of those Japanese cartoon characters. I have thick, long eye-lashes so I don’t have to wear a lot of make-up. I have a dancer’s body although I haven’t really danced in years. I’m turning twenty-one tomorrow. I feel like I’m 30. I pull at the skin on my face and slap my cheeks trying to liven them up. I sigh. It does no good. I look tired. I throw my hair up in a messy twist and throw on my sweats. If my Mom gets a clean bill of health today, I am going to make some changes in my life.

  “Vanessa?” My Mom peeks her head in at me. “Are you ready, honey?”

  “I’m ready. You?”

  “Ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s go.”

  My Mom is beautiful. I’ve always wanted to look just like her. Unfortunately I look nothing like her. Well, I have her curviness. My Mom used to be very curvy but now she’s a little too thin. She had gorgeous thick straight brunette hair, but now she has a green beanie with an embroidered yellow butterfly covering her hairless head. She is still as beautiful as ever to me.

  My Mom asked me to take her to her appointment today. Over the last two years, we’ve become very close. I would do anything for my Mom and I know she would do anything for me. My Dad is trapped at his office today and my brother doesn’t know about her appointment yet. We’re quiet on the way to the doctor’s office, listening to soft music in the car. I’m praying quietly to myself that the cancer will be gone and that our family can finally live a normal life, that my Mom will be able to be my Mom again.

  As we wait in the waiting room, my legs bounce nervously and my heart is beating as if I overdosed on caffeine. There is one other woman in the waiting room all by herself. She has a full head of healthy hair. I wonder briefly why she is here today. We’re finally called back to the little sterile white room. Dr. Fenton sits on her stool, examining the chart in her plastic covered hands. We’ve come to know her quite well. She is married with two children and treats us as if we’re part of her family. Her compassion has been invaluable during the last two years. She whirls around to face us with a friendly smile.

  “Lynn! I have your blood tests back and I have good news. The cancer is gone! It’s gone!”

  I squeal and cover my face with my hands. My shoulders shake with sobs. I was trying not to lose it in front of my Mom but I guess I had suppressed my emotions for too long trying to be strong for her that I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. I feel my Mom’s arms encircle around me and we cry together.

  “I will just need to see you back every year to check on things but other than that, just keep up on your regular appointments. Congratulations!”

  As we walk out of the clinic, I feel as light as a feather. That heaviness on my shoulders that weighed me down for so long is gone. Instead of darkness, I see light. I feel ecstatic!

  “Mom, this is the best birthday present ever! I am so relieved and happy.”

  “Thank you Vanessa, for everything you’ve done.” She holds my face in her hands. “I couldn’t have asked for a better daughter. I love you.” She says as she kisses my forehead.

  “I love you so much Mom.”

  ***

  I wake up the next morning with so much enthusiasm. I haven’t felt this happy in a while. My Mom is healthy! I smile to myself. I’m twenty-one today. Something inside of me is just screaming for change. I’m feeling excited about the future. I need to take back control over my life. I have not thought about the direction of my life at all. I dropped out of my first year of community college half-way through when Mom got sick. I haven’t thought about where or if I want to go back or what I want to do after. I haven’t even thought about Christmas, even though it’s around the corner. I didn’t make plans for the future because we never knew what the future was going to hold for us. We just lived day by day.

  After showering, I actually take a little time with my hair. I pull my long locks down with a huge round brush blow drying the strands. I use my flattening iron and straighten it and then finish with some smoothing gel. I put on a little mascara and lip gloss and smack my lips together in the mirror. I put on my favorite bedazzled Rockstar jeans and my favorite pink tunic sweater that hangs slightly over my shoulders and I practically
skip to the kitchen like a 6 year old. I find my Mom singing softly to the radio as she bounces on her feet, flipping bacon over the stovetop. The smell of bacon overwhelms me. Strange, the smell of bacon has never smelled as good as it does this morning while watching my Mom hop around the kitchen.

  “Morning Mom.”

  “Morning Vanessa. How’d you sleep?”

  “Awesome, you?”

  “Haven’t slept that well in years.”

  “Need help with breakfast?”

  “Nope! It’s your birthday. Grab some coffee and relax.”

  I reach up and grab a coffee mug and pour myself some coffee. Usually I put more cream than coffee in my cup, but today, I’m going to be a little crazy and drink it black!

  “Mom?”

  “Yeah honey.”

  “So, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. About James.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah. Everything is fine. That’s just it. It’s always just fine.”

  “Ahhhh. Are you missing some excitement in your relationship?”

  My face turns red. My Mom obviously knows we’ve had sex but we’ve never talked about it. “I guess. I just don’t feel those butterflies when we’re together, ya know? He talks about marriage and stuff and I start to panic. I’m not sure he’s the one but I’ve been with him for so long, it’s scary to think about my life without him.”

  “Can I give you a bit of motherly advice?”

  “Please.”

  “You’re only twenty-one, Vanessa. You sacrificed a large part of your young adult years to care for me and our family. You’re much too young to be tied down in a relationship. Especially, if you’re not feeling it. Are you feeling it?”

  “I guess not.”

  “No regrets Vanessa.”

  “No regrets.”

  “James will not disappear. I’m sure you can still be friends.”

  “Yeah, your right.”

  “What are your plans today?”

  “I’m meeting Megan for lunch and then heading over to see James. He has dinner planned for me.”

  “I’m glad you’re seeing Megan. She’s a good friend. You deserve some girl time. About James? Think about yourself and your own needs for a change. No regrets!” She points the spatula at me.

  I think about those needs, imagining my head thrown back, beads of sweat on my forehead as I scream out in pleasure with the best orgasm of my life. I pray my Mom can’t read my mind or see the blush on my face. I pull myself away from my thoughts and help her set the table for breakfast.

  We call the rest of the family down and pass plates of bacon, eggs and toast around the table. It feels so good for all of us to be sitting around the table together talking and laughing like a normal family.

  “Happy birthday Vanessa.” Mason says giggling as he whips a piece of bacon at my face. We laugh and throw food at each other. My Mom sits quietly at the table with a small smile on her face.

  “Okay, that’s enough.” My Dad yells not looking up from his morning newspaper. My Dad is still old school. Even though he owns an iPad, he still reads the newspaper every morning and he reads paperback books too. After I help my Mom cleanup, I decide to do some things I’ve been putting off. Today just seems like the day to do those things I haven’t been motivated to do. I download some of my favorite music to my iPhone and then search the romance section on my kindle for my next book boyfriend. I feel bad for James. He just doesn’t know what he’s been up against. I finally finish folding my laundry that’s been piling up and then I go through the mail opening all of my birthday cards. I’m glad everything thinks the perfect gift for a twenty-one year old is cash. I need it. I throw a $25 Visa gift card in my fake Coach purse and glance at the clock. It’s time to meet Megan so I grab my purse and head out the door.

  I pull up to the little café we used to meet at all the time. It’s been a while. I haven’t gone out with friends in a long time. Megan is the only one that makes an effort to get together. We try to meet for lunch at least once a month to catch up. I used to talk about my Mom’s latest health news or how I got called to Mason’s school because he was in a fight or how much laundry I had to do or how James and I had sex and this time it lasted a record-breaking 4.3 minutes and I still haven’t had an orgasm. She would always talk about the latest boy in her life and what new position they’ve tried and the funny drunk stories at all the college parties she attended. Megan attends University of Colorado, Colorado Springs (UCCS). She still lives at home and commutes to school but she has friends that live on campus so she practically lives there. I walk into the diner and glance around. It’s a tiny place with about 10 booths and a handful of tables, decorated in 50’s decor. I spot her right away. Her unruly curly brown hair stands out in a crowd. She’s tall and thin, like a supermodel. Megan has been my best friend since 9th grade. We went through all those crazy high school years together. She was boy crazy and with a different boy every week and I was with James. Always.

  She runs over to me and pulls me into a giant hug. “So tell me.” She holds me by the shoulders glaring into my eyes.

  “She’s clear!” I wipe a tear escaping from eye and jump up and down.

  “Oh my God Vanessa! That is so awesome! We have so much to celebrate. Let’s sit.”

  We sit in a booth in the back and the waitress comes right over to take our order. We both ask for the special, which is a cheeseburger and fries. Usually I order a club sandwich. I usually try to eat healthy but I love junk food, so when I have an excuse to pig out, I do. Today, we have a lot to celebrate, so what the hell!

  “So, how is she feeling?” Megan asks, sipping on her diet coke.

  “Good, she was cooking breakfast this morning, singing in the kitchen. Brought tears to my eyes. You have no idea how this news changes everything.”

  “I bet. You’re probably seeing things so differently now.”

  “I am. I’ve been thinking about James, actually.” I confess, fidgeting with the straw wrapper on the table.

  “Yeah? Well, you know what I think.”

  Megan has never really cared for James. She sees his selfish side and keeps telling me I’m missing out, that I deserve more and that I’m settling. I know she’s right.

  “I do. It’s just that I’ve been with him for 6 years Megan. He didn’t cheat or do anything wrong. He’s a good guy. I’m just afraid of losing him completely. I still want him in my life. I just don’t think he’s the one. I also don’t want to miss out on normal stuff that twenty-one year olds do. I want to go dancing with you and go to those college parties and have stupid fun. I’ve already missed out on so much, ya know?”

  “Well, I’m glad you’re thinking about this now before another six years go by. Your young and you have a lot of time to find the one. For now, it’s all about fun and experiencing what you’ve missed out on for the last 6 years! So listen. I got you a birthday present.” She slides a card over to me.

  “What is it?”

  “Open it.”

  I open the card and of course it has a picture of a naked man on it. Candles where they shouldn’t be and it says to make a wish and blow. I chuckle at her, shaking my head. A printed reservation for a cabin in Telluride during Christmas break is inside. “What does this mean?”

  “I booked a cabin for a girl’s getaway. You deserve to have some girl time. Everything is paid for.”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “I invited Kate and Lisa too. I figured the more the merrier. We have the cabin from December 21st through the 26th.”

  “Oh. I can’t miss Christmas with my Mom this year.”

  “She thought you’d say that. I talked to her about this the other day. She was afraid if her test came back bad, you wouldn’t want to go at all but she knows you need this. She mentioned Christmas too. You can come and leave early to be home for Christmas if you want. You’d still have a few days of crazy girl time in the mountains! Hitting the slopes during the day. Th
e night life at night! What do you say?”

  “I say, this is exactly what I need!” I say, staring at the naked man on the card, imagining blowing those candles out. His strong hand gripping my ponytail.

  ***

  “So, if I just make one more sale this month, I will be the top seller. I don’t think I’ll have a problem. This guy has been in three times this week eyeing the new Mustang. I’m sure I’ll be able to snag that sale without a problem…..”

  I must totally zone out.

  “Vanessa?”

  “Sorry.”

  “Anyway.” He says sounding annoyed with my lack of enthusiasm for his sales career. “How did you like dinner?” James asks as he swirls his wine in his glass. I’ve been here for over an hour and James hasn’t even asked about my Mom.

  “It was good.” He made it sound like he was cooking me dinner. I should have known better. He ordered in Chinese. It’s fine. Just fine.

  “So I have a present for you.”

  He hands me a small box wrapped in shimmery silver paper and a white bow. It’s a jewelry box. I start to hyperventilate. I slowly open it as if a jack-in-the-box is going to jump out at me. I pull the lid off and cautiously look inside. It’s a bracelet. Thank God! It’s cute. It looks like one of those Tiffany toggle bracelets with the pendant hanging from it with the tiffany logo etched on it, but it’s not. I just have never been a jewelry person. I don’t wear earrings or bracelets or necklaces. I don’t paint my nails. I don’t die my hair. It’s just not me. “It’s beautiful James.”

  “Here, let me put it on you.” He clasps it to my wrist and then bends over to kiss me. I feel nothing. No sparks, no tingle. He puts his wine down and lowers me to the floor and continues to kiss me. I kiss him back trying to find it. It just doesn’t happen. Within minutes, he has our clothes off and he is on top of me, pushing himself in and out. Panting heavily. He doesn’t look at me. He looks at the wall behind my head. His arms are holding himself above me and our skin doesn’t even touch, except where were connected at the hips. I moan because I know that makes him finish faster. He grunts, pulls out and flips to his back breathing heavily. Then he disappears into the bathroom while I pull my clothes back on. This is our typical sex life. I always thought it was…fine. Then, I started to read romance novels and listen to other girls talk. Something’s missing.